Negativity

Today I felt fine.  I even slept on my stomach last night.  Not too sure if that's something I should have done - but it certainly didn't cause me any pain to do it.  The only incision that is still sore is the 2 inch cut on the top of my belly where the port is located.

I've definitely noticed my hunger increase.   Having a Jell-O cup or two just doesn't cut it anymore.  Thank God I move to mushy foods in three days.  I already have in mind what I want.  A "Wendy's Chili". Mmm Mmm, Good!

I wanted to talk a little about negativity from friends.  I don't think they intend to be negative with their comments or questions, but they certainly come across that way. Tonight I had an online chat with someone who had also thought about having this surgery.

Friend: so how do they tighten and untighten the ring

Me: there's a port just under the muscle of my stomach
and they just inject saline into it

Friend: and how long will you keep this in?

Me: for liiiiiiiiife
you remove it and you go back to your old ways
and gain all the weight back

Friend: not if you learn why you turn to food and switch to a healthier lifestyle

Me: um.. it's recommended that you don't remove it
it CAN be removed but if it's helping you to keep the weight off, why do you want to have it removed? So I can eat a whole plate of food?

Friend: i get it now. you have no control. you've tried but without this you won't be able to control what you eat

Me: that's why people get gastric surgeries, right?

Friend: sure

It felt as though I was being called a "failure" because I decided to have surgery instead of trying to lose the weight on my own.  It also seems as if I should be mourning the food that I will no longer be able to eat.  It's amazing how others act like you've never considered these things.   Will I miss eating popcorn? Pizza with all the crust? Thanksgiving dinner and eating until I can't move? Yeah.. a little.. but not NEARLY as much as I'll miss wearing a smaller pair of pants,  not having to take this blood pressure medicine, and a lack of a high level of self-confidence that I'll lose if I did continue to eat all of those things and thing some.
 
Just something that caused me to pause and consider the intention behind the words.